I wanna feel it forever.

From the beginning, I realized that a feeling difficult to be interpreted. Sometimes you think this is only temporary, but you do not want to let go of this, and eventually that feeling grows and develops forever.You do not know when it will disappear. Probably not. You felt it was just a delusion, instead become a reality. However, when you're sure it will happen, you never even get. It's confusing.
I will not say that I experience it today. I just felt a feeling that has not revealed its meaning. And I also do not want to find intent. I just want to enjoy this, a feeling that have never felt before. I do not want to know what it is. Maybe you'll guess that, 'I'm in love' or whatever. But, I just do not want to know.

Mr. A, this person who made me feel something I've never felt. You'd think that this man made me happy. You're right. But, when you say that this person have a close relationship with me. You're wrong! You know, he did not know me. I do not need to be pitied. I know you'll say I'm suffering from 'syndrome impressed' with the note, the person who admired not know you at all and in this case I am to be pitied. WHATEVER! I've said, I'm enjoying this.


"Please, stop dreaming!" Honest, my heart is always assured this into me. In fact, deep into my mind.

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Indeed, I must have been dreaming. Who would admire someone but never dreamed? I bet NO ONE. I ever dreamed to meet with him. I also ever dreamed that HAVE to know him. But, I do not know what this feeling means. Do I have started crazy?

I even pray that I never again saw Mr. A, whenever and wherever it is, so my thoughts about it can disappear instantly and I can focus with my studies. And you know what? That was true. Since then, I no longer see him, even when he was near me, I'm no longer aware of it. I thought, this is the best, but this is actually bad for my feelings. As I said, you think this is temporary, but you're not willing to let go. Yes, my feelings remain covered by the shadow of his face. Weird, I even miss him.

After some time no see him, I started to miss him. WEIRD! I know, you'd be disgusted to read my post this time. But, that's exactly what I felt. No, I am not a fanatic.

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When my longing began to peak, exactly on October 29, 2010, at 20:40, location: In front of Beta Market , I saw him. You know, as usual when I saw him, my heart pounding. Even I could hear it. Oh god! Please DO NOT remove this from my memory. Let me enjoy this feeling. Although maybe I can not reach it.

Am I crazy? Am I wrong? I just want to have these feelings. Let this just a dream. About reality, who knows?

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Fall Out Boy – The (Shipped) Gold Standard mode: on

start again!

Yeaaah, this is my first post on October (but September was zero). And i’ve many splashy stories about the students orientation period and my holiday at Sumatera. Oh, also, i’ll give you a reason why i got holidays from my campus, whereas in last post, I said, my campus would not to give us holidays more than four days.

Oookay, on the last post, I promised to show you my interesting photos when I joined the student orientation period as a freshman at my campus. Yea, check this out!

August 31st 2010

September 1st 2010

 

Interesting, huh? Haha, I thougt clothes and the equipments that I wore, made me so silly on everyone’s eyes. Embarrassing! But, still, the every orientation period is a impressive period on freshman’s eyes. Yeah, I think, it can test everyone’s mental, more. University student’s mental is not hi school student’s mental. University student can think so far, what’s the benefit a freshman join this orientation? 

Well, I joined this orientation for three days, August 30^th (Orientation at University), 31^st (Orientation at Faculty), and September 1^st (Orientation at Department). Then, it continued with the trial senate (new student inauguration) on September 2^nd. But, I just showed my photos when I joined the orientation at university and faculty. In a fact, there was one more, my photo when I joined orientation at my Department. But now, the photo was missing or may be deleted. I’ve no idea. I didn’t find it in the camera’s memory.

By the way, between the three of orientation period (university, fakulty, and department), I loved orientation period at my department. Yeaa, so many new students hated orientation period at my department. Because, this orientation was more cruel or more disipline than university and faculty orientation. You know how it is with Chemical Engineering Students. But, for me, that was so amazing. You know what’s the reason? Mm hmm,, the provost leader (provost: security council at Pembangunan Nasional “Veteran” University) of orientation period at my department was so cool! Haha, you know, he was different. He had firm attitude, a resolute step, and … ,um, he was so charismatic. Although so many new students hated him, cuz he was so cruel and “arrogant”, but for me, that was him, he was him. Umm, may be, because I really spellbounded (Oh yeah?!), unfortunately I did not see his nametag. Huh, I wonder about him until now. Oh ya, I knew a little, the provosts are the old students, old generation. So I thought, he’s a generation of ’07. Um, I hope he will be a provost again on solidarity night.

Talking about “Solidarity Night”, I wanna tell you. Solidarity night is little the same with orientation period at department. But, this is more specific. It intends to increase the solidarity of every generation. It will run on 2 days 1 night. Nah, on this Solidarity Night, new students will put to mental and physic test from seniors (provosts, perhaps). Not only that, but also sosialitation training with every generation, may be by games means. Usually, the last night make this event more and more attractive. Because, on this nite, the new students and seniors come together in a place and make a campfire. Yeah, early, makes new students afraid. But if we follow this event step by step, we will never regret that. I’ll be waiting!!

And, the reason why I got Lebaran holidays, it because my campus gave us permission on it when we joined the students orientation. They said, after we joined this orientation, we would get Lebaran holiday on September 6^th until 19^th. Then, inaugural lecture would be run on September 20^th. Yey, so, on September 6^th, my sister and I flied to Sumatera, to my lovely hometown!!

So, better late than never.

 

Hhehe, so happy when I spent my time with my family. Because of it, I had no time to write on my blog. Really sorry! And now, I will more and more busy with my lecture. So I think, I’ve no time to open my blog again. I must focus on my lecture. But, if I have time, although a little, I will post again with my stories, of course. 

Yeah, this is a university student, yes I am. I must enjoy with it, so all will be run easily and clearly.

Alright student, HOLIDAY IS END! It is time to STUDY HARD again!

Good Charlotte - Break Apart Her Heart mode:on